Monday, May 21, 2007

My Little Chubby Tulip, My Ass

Los Angeles - Paula Abdul broke her nose over the weekend after she fell while trying to avoid stepping on her Chihuahua, her publicist David Brokaw said on Monday.

"She's a little sore, but is doing fine," he said.

"I took a nasty fall trying not to hurt my dog. I bruised myself on my arm, my chest, my waist all the way down to my hip. All from my little chubby Tulip," Abdul said.

The dog was not hurt, Brokaw said.
Blaming the dog?

Granted, David Brokaw has one of the tougher gigs out there, but he reached new levels of lameness recycling every third-graders' excuse for missing homework and peddling it as a reasonable, believable explanation for Paula's broken nose.

My guess is that Paula doesn't have a clue what happened. I'm sure the evening started out innocently enough -- a glass of champagne, a couple of Vicodin, Elliot Yamin, Corey Clark and Justin Guarini shuffling on her stereo -- and then bam.

She comes to on the floor, lying in front of the refrigerator in a pool of melted ice cream, surrounded by empty food containers, with Tulip at her side, gorging "just like Mommy."

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