Tuesday, May 15, 2007

What This Really Means is There's Going to be a Few Extra Donuts At Next Year's Prayer Breakfast


Apparently the Rev. Jerry Falwell was found "unconscious in his office" late this morning and rushed to a hospital in Lynchburg, Virginia where he was declared dead.

Is this news?

As long as I can remember, all the statements coming out of Falwell's office have clearly indicated that he was "unconscious." And, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't a man who lacks a heart already dead?

This guy was one of the meanest, nastiest, snidest, most intellectually dishonest, disloyal and conniving slimeballs who ever stood in front of a congregation. And that's a major accomplishment considering his competition. He never spoke, he spewed. He is the idealogical, idiot-illogical "God"father (think mafia, not Vatican) to Karl Rove, Ann Coulter, Bill O'Reilly and other noxious-fume breathers. We as a nation, a world, a humankind are better off without him. Period.

As the face of and force behind the Moral Majority [remember the bumper stickers from the 80s? - "The Moral Majority is Neither"], he was, perhaps more than any one individual, most responsible for putting Ronald Reagan in the White House. Fast-forward twenty years, and where are we? A world at war, on the basis of false information fueled by religious intolerance and zealotry. AIDS, ignored for too long and then the target of a campaign of disinformation, is still a pandemic, virtually threatening Africa with extinction. A woman's legal right to abortion is realistically in danger of being eliminated by the highest court in the land, now stacked with ideologues cherry-picked from the jurisprudential margins, chosen for their we-know-better-than-you willingness to legislate from the bench. Quite simply, a country in chaos, split in two.

Before anyone else, he determined how to galvanize the fearful and ignorant and get them to the polls. His legacy is one of pain, hate, lies, half-truths and human suffering -- all in the name of his God, who bears no resemblence to mine.

If Falwell were not a "man of the cloth," he never would have been given the pedestal upon which to posture and puke. A few of his more memorable quotes follow:

AIDS is not just God's punishment for homosexuals; it is God's punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals. God continues to lift the curtain and allow the enemies of America to give us probably what we deserve. Homosexuality is Satan's diabolical attack upon the family that will not only have a corrupting influence upon our next generation, but it will also bring down the wrath of God upon America. I am such a strong admirer and supporter of George W. Bush that if he suggested eliminating the income tax or doubling it, I would vote yes on first blush. If you're not a born-again Christian, you're a failure as a human being. The idea that religion and politics don't mix was invented by the Devil to keep Christians from running their own country. We will see a breakdown of the family and family values if we decide to approve same-sex marriage, and if we decide to establish homosexuality as an acceptable alternative lifestyle with all the benefits that go with equating it with the heterosexual lifestyle. I believe that all of us are born heterosexual, physically created with a plumbing that's heterosexual, and created with the instincts and desires that are basically, fundamentally, heterosexual. I believe that global warming is a myth. And so, therefore, I have no conscience problems at all and I'm going to buy a Suburban next time. I do not believe we can blame genetics for adultery, homosexuality, dishonesty and other character flaws.

What a prick!

I wish I could have seen his overfed, pudge of a face drop in shock and disappointment when he showed up in Heaven and immediately saw all the people he was sure wouldn't be there, kicking back with a God he didn't recognize.

2 comments:

lunkhead said...

Wow. What bile!

he gay said...

Yeah, I know. Falwell was really full of it wasn't he? Thanks for the comment!